After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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