So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
