your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
