I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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