I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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