My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My first STD was from a foam party
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
sarcasm needs its own font
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
