Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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