Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
