the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
