dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
