Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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