I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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