A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
