I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
