and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
