I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
