i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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