I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
True strength comes from lack of pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize