Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
