is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
