Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
