whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
