Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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