he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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