have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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