I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
