I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
