I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
