Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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