I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
