dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
