the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
