I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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