We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
