yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
