just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
