I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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