My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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