Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
