RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
