everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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