get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
