smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
