I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
