My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
