There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
