Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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