He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize