Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
