U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fuck appropriateness.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize