i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
