Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
