Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
