Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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