last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
