It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
