I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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