she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
