i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
