Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
