Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
