you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
