you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
