So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
