Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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