I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize