Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
