Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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